Jonahisms

Jonah’s new favorite response to a spanking: "Heyyyy! Don't pank my bootyyyyy! Be noiiiiice."
One of toddler parenting's BIGGEST challenges: Not laughing when it's time to discipline. I never dreamed sass could be so darn cute.


[quoting the movie “Animal House”]
Daddy: "Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? HELL NO!"
Jonah: "ELMO!!!! ELMOOOOOO!!!"
[thank goodness for that misunderstanding! Lol!]

[watching rolling credits after a show]
Jonah: "Aww! Wook at all doze letters up there! Wook at ALL doze letters!!"

[to me, in response to Lexi taking one of his toys]
Jonah: "I hab is first." ("I had this first").
....and so it begins :)

[after a Christmas lights parade]
Mama: "Did u see lights?"
Jonah: "I see lights!"
Mama: "Did u see horses?"
Jonah: "I see horsies!"
Mama: "Did u see Oogly Doodiddles?"
Jonah: "I see Oodwy Doodiddles."
Mama: "Did u see....ummm.... the Pillsbury Doughboy?"
Jonah: "I see the Puddle Doublebee DOUBLEBEE!!"
What exactly was IN this parade, anyway?!?

[6am wake-up call one morning recently]
Jonah: (runs in our room, giggling) "I'm a TOOTER!!"
Jeremy: (agitated) "Jonah, you do NOT get out of bed to tell Mommy & Daddy you TOOTED!"
Nice.

[early potty training, after Jonah pooped in undies]
Daddy: “Jonah, you do NOT poop in your undies!” [shows Jonah as he dumps contents into the toilet] “You see this? You put these rocks in the POTTY!”

CONSEQUENTLY: If Jonah needs to go poop, he says, “I need to put wocks in potty!!”

When Jonah goes potty, he insists on taking his pants and undies completely off. One day, he came home from daycare, having played on the playground that day. Therefore, he had little tiny rocks in his shoes. So, while we were taking his shoes off so he could go potty, the tiny rocks fell on the bathroom floor.

Mama: “Uh, ohhh! You had rocks in your shoes!”
Jonah: [scrambles to find the rocks, which have scattered on the floor]: “I put rocks in the potty!!!!”

Needless to say, we found another word for the rocks in the shoes. How about PEBBLES, next time!!!

[Jonah’s smart]
In Sears, I see a bicycle with “Lightning McQueen” from the movie Cars. Jonah calls Cars “RACECARS.” I point out the bike, expecting Jonah to respond with a simple, “Racecars!” Here’s what I got:
Mama: “Jonah! Do you see that? What IS that right there?”
Jonah: “Dat’s RACECARS, Mama! Dat’s Racecars on a bicycle right there!”

[Letters and Numbers]
Jonah was confusing his letters and numbers. He could identify 1-10, but also thought the letter Z was a 2 and the letter S was a 5. For a week or so, he’d bring me a Z and proclaim “Twoooo!” to which I would correct him. Same thing with the S. Now, his favorite thing to do in the bathtub is grab a z & 2 in one hand and an s & 5 in the other hand and proudly proclaim:
“I gotta z and a 2! And, I gotta S and a 5!” over and over again!

[Alphabet song]
“A B C D E eh Geee {breath} H I J K eminymoPeeee {breath} Q R eSSSSSSS T U Veeee UBBELDOO X Yand Zeeee {out of breath, inhaling while singing}:Now I know my ABCeeee’s, Next time won’t you sing with MEEEE!”

[at bedtime]
Daddy: “Say 'I love you, Mama'."
Jonah: "I yuv you, Mama."
Daddy: "Say 'I love you, Daddy'."
Jonah: "I yuv you, Daddy."
{pause}
Jonah: "Say 'I yuv you, Jonah'."